The Art of Unconditional Acceptance – By Debbie Akamine
“I realized that every thought I had was about “making it go away.” That’s a conflict, a huge inner conflict. I decided to look at that a bit more closely. What would be the opposite? It has to be acceptance. I thought to myself “what would be like if I really accepted this?” It was a turning point in my healing, when I realized that my “problem” had taken me down on a journey I would never have planned. It taught me things I’ve never intended to learn. I had changed my career, I changed my whole outlook, I’ve learned lots of things about myself and others, I had insights I never had before, I’ve met amazing people… wonderful people all over the world, and I realized that I liked myself a lot better. So, ok… I can see this “problem” wasn’t totally bad. What if it had a purpose, a reason for being here? Because obviously it had done a good job so far, and if it is still here, maybe there is still a purpose. What if I gave it permission to stay?”
Those were the words of Arielle Essex, who was featured in the film “The Living Matrix”, and the “problem” she was referring to was a brain tumor that caused infertility. What was interesting about her story was the fact that all Arielle ever wanted (or so she thought) was to be in a loving relationship and have children. Since this seemed to be more than just a coincidence, Arielle started to study and research what might have caused her illness. After applying some NLP techniques she came to the conclusion that an unconscious part of her didn’t want to have a relationship or even children. In fact, as she shared her story she noted how “her body had created a tumor perfectly designed to follow the unconscious purpose”.
I was so fascinated by the way she described her experience that I had to share her thoughts with all of you – and it definitely made me think about a few things in my life as well.
Although she was talking about a disease, her thoughts could be applied to ANYTHING in life that we see as a “problem”. Her story also reminds us how it is not just about doing things right and trying to “get rid of something”, but how acceptance is key to our healing process.
From my personal experience, I’ve been coming to terms with how important it is to accept things as they are, to see some events as new beginnings.
Acceptance creates a window for something to change. Suppose, for example, you are annoyed with a co-worker for not doing their work fast enough. You could internally judge this person and/or express your disapproval of their speed… But does this feel good? Does it really help?
There is a way to express what you want AND stay in acceptance. Acceptance is inner; expression is outer. You can say whatever need to say to this person (using our example) and you can say it powerfully and with acceptance.
With unconditional acceptance, it does not mean you are stuck. It does not mean the situation will not change! It just means your power to create change and enjoyment of the journey starts with acceptance.
Your co-worker is slow. This is neither good nor bad. It is what it is. It is slow. Period.
I am happy to say that I’ve been able to see things in a different light in my own life. One so-called “problem” I totally transformed through acceptance was that I went through a time when I felt completely lost in my own life, especially career-wise. Right after I graduated from college I never worked in a job for more than a year. I was always job hopping: from working in the financial market to working as an international tax consultant and never felt I was in the right place.
The day came where I did not have the energy to fight and judge this pattern anymore. I realized, without a doubt, that judgment was not helping. This realization unhooked me from it, and through a positive outlook of life I have been able to turn that “negative situation” around. I am in a good place, happy with my life and excited about the future! So Unconditional Acceptance definitely works!
Begin with acceptance of what is AND THEN take action from there. Whatever the situation is, you can set some clear ground rules or make a consequence, do what you need to do without judging, and see how powerful it is.
Also, just as with Arielle Essex up above, my so-called “problem” led me to a place of unconditional love, peace, spirituality, faith, meeting amazing people, positivism, applying the law of attraction in my life, etc. So yes, I can say that I feel grateful that a “problem” came into my life because I eventually understood its purpose and the shift that it created in me.
Looking back, I remember being in that place of depression, negativity, complaining all the time, feeling stressed out, burned out and lost. I spent more than 10 months feeling that way. Now, I finally understand that being in that state (truth be told, I used to be very negative and complain most of the time) was actually a blessing! It was amazing and it took me on a journey that I never imagined I would embark on.
This experience also showed me that many times we forget that “problems” will always bring something positive into our lives, something we never expected. Thanks to that experience, I see that every time something I want doesn’t happen the way I plan, I go back to that experience and remind myself that it might be a blessing and that something better will come along, specially because this simply means that the Universe has bigger plans for me.
Of course, it is not always so easy to adopt this mindset or to feel this way. Sometimes we feel disappointed, frustrated, etc. – because we are only human after all. But in the end, if I manage to control my “negative thoughts and feelings” things will shift. So yes, ACCEPTANCE! That is the wonderful lesson to learn.
Here is a good meditation to practice acceptance:
Thank you for letting me share this story with all of you! Sending tons of love, inner peace and gratitude! =)
If you are looking for a happy ending and couldn’t find one..find a new beginning instead
Official Guide of the Casa Dom Inácio (John of God), currently working on her website to spread unconditional love to other people.
Here are some good tips on handling our emotions and empowerment from Owen Fox:
“So I await, with curiosity, what will happen next, and next, and next, and next, and next, and …. ” – Burrill Crohn
“The main reason for healing is love” – Paracelsus
“Strangely enough…Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places” Unknown
“If you are looking for a happy ending and couldn’t find one..find a new beginning instead.” ~Unknown
Miracles are thoughts – A Course in Miracles